I do this to create a roadmap that reduces the time and effort for people facing the same challenges.
I do this because it is my gift and my purpose.
I do this because I believe in what Pablo Picasso said: “The meaning of life is to find your gift. The purpose of life is to give it away.”

Do you know what your gift is?

If you don’t, give it time. Life-altering experiences are one of the ways to see clearly into this part of you.
What is your gift?
What can you see clearly or do that no one else gets in the same way? How does it come to you so quickly and easily?

You can sharpen your pencil, take notes, and use your attention with intention until you uncover it.
You can apply your gift to your own life first and then find a way to give it away to others.

What does all of this have to do with resilience in routine, you ask?

I would love to invite you into a story, an unfolding of sorts. I have lived this story with careful intention twice in two different ways. The second time around, I learned something I never would have expected.
The essence of creativity in every human being is that they can find unexpected learnings and create new things from the same pieces. This is not just me; it’s in you, too.

When I received my breast cancer diagnosis, time slowed down.

I felt like my world was spinning at double the speed, but my processing of it all, my speed of thought and decision, felt like I was moving through molasses.

I brushed that off with an explanation that goes something like this: “It’s the shock of having your life threatened by a cancer diagnosis and the fear that is causing you to freeze.” It makes sense, right?

Fast forward six years and another life-shifting event happens in my world. Our home was hit by lightning. I won’t go into the whole story here except to say it is a drastic life change, and I found myself in a very similar state...

My world is spinning at double the speed, but my processing of it all, my speed of thought and decision, feels like I am moving through molasses.

The same experiential response to two very different circumstances. My life is not being threatened here, and yet my physical reaction is the same. The brain feels stuck. I learned to stop and notice when similar outcomes arise from very different situations. My attention perks up when this happens, and I start exploring the possibilities.

I shared this observation with a friend and colleague, a master coach, APH. What he said started with my favorite two words… “What if?”

“What if it is not the speed of processing in your brain at all? What if it’s all about the loss of routine?”

Brilliant observation!

Routine does a lot of heavy lifting to free up our brain's processing power. When our daily tasks run on autopilot, it frees up mental energy for other things by creating predictable stability—a comfort zone.
When routine is suddenly stripped away, our brain has to process every little decision all over again.

Who else out there does that? Rely on predictability so you can spend your processing and attention somewhere else.

When I was first diagnosed, my entire routine vanished overnight. I had to start processing a new way of living; every activity immediately after diagnosis took my active input and attention every single time… until it became a new routine. I was lucky enough to have the space to be super intentional about how I built my routine during treatment because my family and close friends stood in the gap, supported the daily function of my household, disrupted their routines, and allowed me to contemplate every decision I made.

After that, I had to reinvent my routine when the frequency of my doctor’s visits faded out, and I entered the realm of survivorship.

All this became a clear echo when we suddenly had to leave our house after the lightning strike. My environment turned upside down again. I felt stuck in molasses again because it took double the effort to prepare my kid for summer day camp in the morning. I couldn’t find his backpack, I couldn’t find a paper towel, a water bottle to pack a lunch… I had to improvise at every single step of a simple task. The effort required multiplied. It’s not that my brain was slowing down; it was that my brain had to process double, triple, or more to get the same simple task done…

I felt a precise click of a gear shifting into place. I was no longer judging myself for being slow or scared or not enough… I was no longer disappointed in my coping abilities. I tuned in to curiosity about how this works and started exploring the pattern.

I discovered the tremendous power of routine. Routine creates resilience. It allows our brain to focus on what truly matters by automating the smaller, everyday tasks. My questioning then turned to:

Who decides what is essential to pay attention to?

What am I dismissing inside my routine?

Are there parts of that “road of least resistance” that no longer serve me?

Parts I ignore and, therefore, don’t adapt and tweak for my highest good?

Must I have a life-altering event to prune and weed my routine?

Is my comfort zone too comfortable and no longer open for growth and evolution of who I am and how I am?

As I continue to explore this about my life story, I settle on the same old concept of CHOICE.
I get to choose how I use my routine.
I get to build it to maximize my resilience while at the same time tuning in to and noticing every opportunity for growth and expansion.

Most importantly, I get to use routine for my resilience, for the advantage of growing myself, my gift, and my ability to give it away, rather than being caught up in and used by my routine.

Can you tune in to the subtle difference there? Can you identify places in your life where those two threads intertwine?

Can you see the places where these discoveries are also valid for you?

The truth is, growth rarely feels routine. It’s more like jumping out of a perfectly good airplane with a parachute of resilience strapped to your back.

The choice always has been and continues to be YOURS!